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So I thought about this alot, mainly because I'm around my dad quite a bit lately......
By:  Paul (Moderators; 66469)
Posted on: 09-07-2019 10:13.
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...his is a classic masculinity you can't fake or pretend to without walking the walk. I'm nowhere near as tough as he is, we both know it.

He never encouraged me to be a policeman, decorated combat Army, great athlete in a couple sports, etc., even though he was all of those things. His father's generation really pushed their kids like that, and my father was lucky to have wanted to be a cop, which suits his personality completely, and mine not at all. He was also lucky to have a pushy father whose attention was nevertheless split between eight kids + a wife.

I was a creative kid into music and art, and he let me go wild there. But I did pick up a lot of core masculinity items from him which are pretty anachronistic I'd guess, even if I'm no badass. Holding the door for people esp women, not whining in public, umbrellas = rufkm, etc.

Mostly from him I got--through example and very little lecturing or lessons--was that being "a man" is primarily about being a decent guy who doesn't use his relative power in an untoward way. Don't fuck people over, wait your turn, be polite and keep your cool, that sort of thing. He was a hot tempered younger man and got through it and I learned that change/growth is possible and good.

I suppose guys who fight MMA, lift weights, rope cattle, fight fires, play hockey, shoot terrorists or race cars are probably always going to be a classically macho group. I think we've come to the point where you don't have to be among them to be considered "manly" which is nice.

Edited by Paul at 9/7/2019 10:14:58 AM

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“Don’t overplay. Don’t overplay. Less is more. It will always be: less is more. Nobody is ever going to remember all those fancy solos - even the guys that play them, most of them won’t remember - so play some licks that people can walk away humming, that people can identify with." --Steve Cropper