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Tying it all up, I was thinking about the guy and the manifestations of ill-considered internal views on masculinity.....
By:  Paul (Moderators; 66477)
Posted on: 09-09-2019 18:19.
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My sis'x ex has a real misplaced sense of "being a man," in my view. Armchairing the situation, he's tried to make the "firefighter/race car driver/bullrider" flavor of masculinity work, and it's just not for him, total squarepeg/roundhole thing. It would be just as wrong for me to try and be a police, thank god my dad saw it before I was probably six and never encouraged me in that direction.

This cat has overcompensated in myriad ways, including substances as I said. I would say he clearly (1) thinks very poorly of his own masculinity/has an inferiority complex (2) believes strongly in a classic 50s type of masculinity (3) believes he can address #1 vis a vis burnishing his bona fides re: #2. For example, always telling people (like waiters, bartenders) he is police if they couldn't figure out by the crewcut, embroidered cop polo, or badge he has just flipped out when my sister would get carded (true story).

I'd share the whole shebang, but it's got a lot of the classic angles, I take heartfelt pity on the guy, and... glass houses and all. He endangered my sister to some degree and I'm relieved beyond belief she left him long long ago (and has remarried), but he never hurt her overtly as far as I'm aware. I feel bad for the guy and hope he can pull up. It's been a decade-long spiral.

And that's why masculinity issues aside, and whatever fed it, what's really wrong with that poor guy right NOW has more to do with parental enabling of serious opioid addiction way into his 40s.

Edited by Paul at 9/9/2019 6:21:42 PM

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“Don’t overplay. Don’t overplay. Less is more. It will always be: less is more. Nobody is ever going to remember all those fancy solos - even the guys that play them, most of them won’t remember - so play some licks that people can walk away humming, that people can identify with." --Steve Cropper