ihateapple.net

Main Forum Index

Forum Home

Post Reply

Email Forum Admins

Log In

Search Forums

Read Messages

Send a Message

Edit Your Settings

Forum Rules

Help


You too can be a L'il Quentin.....
By:  Nayland Smith (Orphaned)
Posted on: 01-05-2009 21:23.
Client: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.5) Gecko/2008120122 Firefox/3.0.5
IP: Logged 
Message views: 1188 (Score: 0)  


1. Drink lots of coffee.
2. Watch 20 B-movies in a row without sleeping.
3. Write a script copying sequences verbatim.
4. Cut up script and rearrange the sequences at random.
5. Insert conversation you had with racist/sexist wino on the bus.
6. Record for 2 hours as you channel surf through white trash oldies radio. This will be your soundtrack.
7. Send script to Harvey Weinstein.
8. Get a big head (literally and figuratively).
9. Direct with big head firmly planted up ass. Tell actors to treat your dialogue like its from the Bible.
10. Make sure the running time is over 2 hours.
11. Go to imdb.com and look up obscure films. Claim them as your influences.